Special Secret Knowledge

The Fount of All Knowledge (first published March 2007)

Young man comes into the shop.

“I want to buy a book to learn stuff”

“What sort of Stuff”

You know …. I want a book to teach me things – can you recommend a book that will give me knowledge”

“Knowledge about what exactly ?”

“Oh everything ……I brought my mum a book for Christmas .. It was on Naturamony”

“Naturamony ?”

“You know – Bones and stuff”

“Ah, anatomy ….. Is she a nurse ?”

“No she works in a cafe… But i liked the pictures of bones and stuff…..

“Has she read it ?”

“She’s looked at it… Don’t think she’s read it. ……. David Ike is good isn’t he – he talks a lot of sense – who would have thought the royal family are all aliens”

“Well there are some who would question whether everything David Ike says is true”

“No its true, I saw it in a book – he says you have to wear blue to be safe from the aliens. Thats the sort of knowledge I want to learn”

“Ah sir, you will be needing our paranoid conspiracy theory utter rubbish section then”

Psychic Booksellers (first Published April 2007)

“My friend in Cornwall has quite a few Cricket books. How much are they worth ?”

Too Much Information (first published March 2007)

Guy comes in – also the worst for drink, and asks if I buy books.
“Sometimes”, say I “What sort of books are they?”

“Oh I don’t know, all sorts” He replied “How much will you pay me for them”

“I would have to see them, it varys from a pound or so, up to a few thousand, usually the former”

“But you must be able to give me some idea – can’t you guess?”

Pah.

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